One day my rage
 Will touche every enemy
 Mine
 He'll regret all the bad
 He have done to my heart
 The revenge will be sweet
 There'll be threads of hatred there
 Begin now to regret
 Spit on your life
 Although it will do nothing
 It'll throw up like chalk
 It's your end
 And my bishop 

Painful

 
 I don't want to remember
 So I don't bend
 Everything will pass by
 And I will disappear silently
 Pain will remain
 And lots of distress
 Just as I want
 Wherever I want, everywhere
 You will be plowed
 But you probably know that already ...
 I will humble my relatives
 In the eaves of the satin
 Away from the noise
 It will be good for them
 I will be generous to them
 And disappear
 Jump to another Universe
 01:30 28/03/2003 

Magic

 I feel betrayed
 Everything dies in me
 Nothing works out
 I don't care anymore
 I expected help
 And tonight
 I surprises everyone
 A thriving forest will be created
 And it will destroy you
 My desires will fulfill
 The emptiness in me will fill
 23/3/03  

It’s gone

 
Another one
Let's leave the time 
Somewhere behind us 
Together with beautiful moments 
Let's not think about the past
As if it's gone lost 
Let's forget us
And I will tell you one day 
You've done well 
And you made no mistake 
Because I'm not worth anything 
Just like a heart card 
I don't love you anymore 
And don't sob at night 
Beginning 2003 

I want him to touch me 
And have pleasure in it
That he would kiss me
Not hide from me
I want him all
I want him to want me like that too
I would like him to kiss me
Before we are big
I dream about him night and day
Only that stone bothers me
Between us
It's like with broken hills
He is somewhere
And I want to hear some about him
I feel free
Capable of everything
I'm quail
I kneel before God
I want to leave my souls
When the moon is listening
I'm sorry for what has finished
What was from my life
I love everything around
I listen when heaven's calling
Yes, it's all the time
Squeezed in a leather belt
I fight with it
With my memories
And with everything else
I will destroy all those guilty


I'm dying
 I gathering my strength
It all hurts me
My heart is reprimanding
I hate you
My lost time
Everything spoiled?
No! I am preparing my revenge
 

There is still a chance

After a long consideration he finally opened the door. The one he have been always looking, and always scared to see what’s behind it.
He has seen a lot of his old toys and his mother’s dresses…
Pair of shoes which he seen on picture from his mother’s first date.
And a little box, whole in colors. He sat down, opened the box and dived in memories…
…when he was a boy running around his house with his cousins.
…when he felt in love for the first time with Kate.
…when he was a best student of the year in high school.
…what ambitions he had.
            And now he’s forty, he has a wife, tow children, boring life where ever day looks the same.
“Nick! What the hell is wrong with you?!” – said a voice in his head.
“I need to start to live, I need to do something, life didn’t just finish.! He said.
            Nick sat down on the computer, started to look for property’ somewhere abroad. Then heard someone came home…
–          Honey, pack up! – Nick said
–          Honey? Oh thank you Nick. You never was so nice to me, what happened?
–          John?!
–          Yeah hun, just came to see how you are. Janet is not coming by the way, she’s totally upset with you.
–          What?! Why?!
–          I’m joking, don’t worry. What’s u with you man? You charmed or something?
–          Kind of.
Nick came back to what he was doing, after some time he heard that someone is behind his back, and a voice “What you’re doing? Why are you looking for primary schools in Los Angeles?
He turned around all smiling. “You’re smiling…”, she said. Nick explained to her what happened in the morning, that made him feel like that and what he’s planning to do now. Janet didn’t know what to say, but she was happy.
            They lived in a small town next to Oxford in England. Was very quiet there and everyone knew about each other. Nick grew up there, when he was a little boy he loved that town. But he had a dream that after University he’ll go to live in a big city, and will be going forward with life.
            Fact’s was that in uni he met Janet, when they married the were a little undecided where to live so thought they could live for some time with Nick’s parents and will move when they will choose where to go. But it happened totally different. They’re both over forty and still here, so it is time to change that!
            They sat on the computer together and started to look for properties in Los Angeles. Finally after few hours nick fond an ideal hose, like the one he was always dreaming of, in a perfect location – near to school, good area, local shops.
            When children came from school, Janet and Nick said to them their idea which was great and the girls were happy. Whole family had a nice dinner that night and started packing first thing in the morning.
            When Nick have been arranging accommodation for the time till they will buy the hose, Janet booked tickets for four people for the next available flight, which was in three days. When the time came, Nick, Janet, Nicole and Jo said goodbye to everyone, took a taxi and went to the airport. Stuff from their house have been travelling n the ground in a special car. When they arrived, saw the city, saw the place, saw the people – they felt happiest ever.
 
                        And life starts again…          
            Nick got a good job and been keeping himself active and busy all the time, but always had time for his family. Janet has been decorating their new house and looking after everything; the neighborhood was very friendly. She gained couple of good friends who could she always talk to, and after sometime she got herself a job in a local store.
            Nicole and Jo met their new friends, started doing a lot of sports, this time there was time and place for it, and they were happy meeting cute boys who they could hang out with.
            Everything was better and better everyday.