There is still a chance

After a long consideration he finally opened the door. The one he have been always looking, and always scared to see what’s behind it.
He has seen a lot of his old toys and his mother’s dresses…
Pair of shoes which he seen on picture from his mother’s first date.
And a little box, whole in colors. He sat down, opened the box and dived in memories…
…when he was a boy running around his house with his cousins.
…when he felt in love for the first time with Kate.
…when he was a best student of the year in high school.
…what ambitions he had.
            And now he’s forty, he has a wife, tow children, boring life where ever day looks the same.
“Nick! What the hell is wrong with you?!” – said a voice in his head.
“I need to start to live, I need to do something, life didn’t just finish.! He said.
            Nick sat down on the computer, started to look for property’ somewhere abroad. Then heard someone came home…
–          Honey, pack up! – Nick said
–          Honey? Oh thank you Nick. You never was so nice to me, what happened?
–          John?!
–          Yeah hun, just came to see how you are. Janet is not coming by the way, she’s totally upset with you.
–          What?! Why?!
–          I’m joking, don’t worry. What’s u with you man? You charmed or something?
–          Kind of.
Nick came back to what he was doing, after some time he heard that someone is behind his back, and a voice “What you’re doing? Why are you looking for primary schools in Los Angeles?
He turned around all smiling. “You’re smiling…”, she said. Nick explained to her what happened in the morning, that made him feel like that and what he’s planning to do now. Janet didn’t know what to say, but she was happy.
            They lived in a small town next to Oxford in England. Was very quiet there and everyone knew about each other. Nick grew up there, when he was a little boy he loved that town. But he had a dream that after University he’ll go to live in a big city, and will be going forward with life.
            Fact’s was that in uni he met Janet, when they married the were a little undecided where to live so thought they could live for some time with Nick’s parents and will move when they will choose where to go. But it happened totally different. They’re both over forty and still here, so it is time to change that!
            They sat on the computer together and started to look for properties in Los Angeles. Finally after few hours nick fond an ideal hose, like the one he was always dreaming of, in a perfect location – near to school, good area, local shops.
            When children came from school, Janet and Nick said to them their idea which was great and the girls were happy. Whole family had a nice dinner that night and started packing first thing in the morning.
            When Nick have been arranging accommodation for the time till they will buy the hose, Janet booked tickets for four people for the next available flight, which was in three days. When the time came, Nick, Janet, Nicole and Jo said goodbye to everyone, took a taxi and went to the airport. Stuff from their house have been travelling n the ground in a special car. When they arrived, saw the city, saw the place, saw the people – they felt happiest ever.
 
                        And life starts again…          
            Nick got a good job and been keeping himself active and busy all the time, but always had time for his family. Janet has been decorating their new house and looking after everything; the neighborhood was very friendly. She gained couple of good friends who could she always talk to, and after sometime she got herself a job in a local store.
            Nicole and Jo met their new friends, started doing a lot of sports, this time there was time and place for it, and they were happy meeting cute boys who they could hang out with.
            Everything was better and better everyday.

That’s a start!

So I couldn’t resist today, I was going to wait until I finish rewriting my poetry and be ready to publish it. It’s not done yet, but I hope soon, but anyway… Opened my second facebook to be able to post silly things when I feel like and not be afraid of being taken as a wirdo, as I thought this was happening before and while going trough hard time those people who changed me even turned around and who were they??? Good friends, or were they good? They were close, or closed I can’t remember.

At the end of November last year I had that one of my awful days, but on that day my eyes weren’t closed anymore, I could see and not only myself but also the surroundings and notice, what is happening. Since then I thought I’m gonna stop pretending to be living and using poor excuses such as nothing is working out for anyone. I did want to get further with my life but I had no push, no encouragement. And then it’s like my eyes just wide opened, in one second, and didn’t close since.

Always I had list of my hobbies, interests, things I want to do, want to have… But that list was just lying there, I had no time. This time, this one, I gone home and made a very ordered plan, the things I need to be doing and the things for which I have to have time as they aren’t going to do anything amazing in with my life, however they can do amazing things with me and my soul. That’s the greatest thing one can do for self, it certainly increases self confidence – developing yourself in what you’re enjoying because you feel you’re good at that.

So as usual after third paragraph I got lost and can’t carry on writing, but I still think the post looks longer to what I could have write before and this time I’ve got distracted my some talkins to me and of course as every one of us I have attention for 10 things at once, and believe me, you can’t fight it. The things in your life you give the attention to, the things you want, you like, you dream of – doesn’t matter how far apart they are, or rather you see them, the longer you’re involved, the more connections you will see and more comfortable will feel.