In the edge of mind

 I don't want to wake the memories up
 I won't be fighting to make them stand up
 And just  
 As lust
 I will create
 Multiply the magic
 No matter the pain
 I won’t let my heart feel insane
 I will get my aims
 I will get what flows in my veins
 I have a hope
 I’ll overcome their dope
 I will be trying!
 From now I’m flying!
 21:45 29.08.03 

Never ending story

 I ran out of inspiration
 the need an empty space
 so that I can go out
 that courage would come
 I will make a fool of myself
 Going deeper into it
 Like a cheerful fool
 which falls into all the basins
 like a foolish idiot
 which's accompanied by stupidity
 who sleeps forever
 and dreams all the time
 I want to free myself yet
 even if they call me a coward
 because I've had enough
 hostility on every side
 I can't stand it anymore
 so I'm gonna stop for a bit
 I will reflect
 Ask a fairy for advice
 we'll see what she will answer
 and then I'll make a decisions
 NOW THE END!
 21:25 10.05.03 

Feelings

 1) I feel so ill on the soul 
And on the body too 
I'm alone in this world 
It's a pity to talk, you know 
Ref. I can't give it up like that 
It wasn't supposed to be like that 
I have to run away from here
Change my life 
2) I will run away
You won't see me again 
Though you'll probably hear 
How I conquer the world 
Ref. I can't give it up like that
It wasn't supposed to be like that 
I have to run away from here
Change my life 
3) I would like the last time 
No longer wave to you 
And don't see, and don't look 
That's how it is... 
Ref. I can't give it up like that 
It wasn't supposed to be like that 
I have to run away from here 
Change my life 
4) I would also like to get revenge 
For my wrongs, these for years 
For suffering, for desires 
You have not met me 
Ref. I can't give it up like that
It wasn't supposed to be like that 
I have to run away from here 
Change my life 
5) You have one thing in it 
That I would be different from you ... 
I do not have enough strength to say anything 
So stop it, more nothing ... 
Ref. I can't give ...