New start

Love is a beautiful thing 
As long as it doesn't cut feelings like sword
And when lips touch other the lips 
Then I feel so empty 
Only emotions in me are still spinning 
And when it hurts, they pinch 
Recently I have realized 
I have fallen out of many things 
Sometimes I want to fix them 
But some can't be fixed 
I also know that an effort is needed 
To avoid many mistakes 
I'm planning to improve everything 
And have fun doing it 
Begining 2003

Sunshine

The sun gets up every day for us 
And I have new ideas every day 
Sometimes It's overwhelming, fact
But at least I always have a new act 
I will tell you sincerely, I believe 
In new directions of old deeds 
And sometimes I think too 
Will someone send me a clue
Such sweet, flowing and loving 
Boy dreaming about me
15Jan2003

Glass is broken

 I promise I will never be sad again
 And this ragged from me canvas
 It will stay away somewhere
 My desires will flow ...
 I don’t want a lover anymore
 Because like a broken glass
 Bubble soap
 The only thing beautiful has it is beautiful wings
 I'm not doing anything
 Because everything is a trick
 And my power
 It will flow into this night
 And he will cover everything like a golden blanket
 I am in despair of distress
 Maybe someone will see it?
 Maybe will me help a little
 And I will see gold aurora
 I would like to fly to the clouds
 Find a bag full of dreams
 Sprinkle them
 So it never again will be bad
 Never cry again
 Never hesitate

That’s a start!

So I couldn’t resist today, I was going to wait until I finish rewriting my poetry and be ready to publish it. It’s not done yet, but I hope soon, but anyway… Opened my second facebook to be able to post silly things when I feel like and not be afraid of being taken as a wirdo, as I thought this was happening before and while going trough hard time those people who changed me even turned around and who were they??? Good friends, or were they good? They were close, or closed I can’t remember.

At the end of November last year I had that one of my awful days, but on that day my eyes weren’t closed anymore, I could see and not only myself but also the surroundings and notice, what is happening. Since then I thought I’m gonna stop pretending to be living and using poor excuses such as nothing is working out for anyone. I did want to get further with my life but I had no push, no encouragement. And then it’s like my eyes just wide opened, in one second, and didn’t close since.

Always I had list of my hobbies, interests, things I want to do, want to have… But that list was just lying there, I had no time. This time, this one, I gone home and made a very ordered plan, the things I need to be doing and the things for which I have to have time as they aren’t going to do anything amazing in with my life, however they can do amazing things with me and my soul. That’s the greatest thing one can do for self, it certainly increases self confidence – developing yourself in what you’re enjoying because you feel you’re good at that.

So as usual after third paragraph I got lost and can’t carry on writing, but I still think the post looks longer to what I could have write before and this time I’ve got distracted my some talkins to me and of course as every one of us I have attention for 10 things at once, and believe me, you can’t fight it. The things in your life you give the attention to, the things you want, you like, you dream of – doesn’t matter how far apart they are, or rather you see them, the longer you’re involved, the more connections you will see and more comfortable will feel.