The past

 Lovers unhappened
 If they would go to their senses
 Maybe they would be together
 And not only dreamed about each other
 Now they are apart
 Apparently they're happy
 But does anyone believe it?
 Pain is counting their sadness
 People beguiled
 Now already forgotten
 Nobody is mentioning them anymore
 Although everyone knows they are around
 15:40 25.05.03

No more

 I just felt in love with him
 ... don't know who or why?
 It's like spilled poppy seeds
 You can never clean it all
 I sit, still! In my room
 I think, I think and I wonder
 I would like to have a little peace
 And I renew my request
 I don't know what's coming next
 and if I say to my personality be saved!
 Will she listen?
 Will she be still strong?
 Or she'll pretend to be deaf?
 and will not more be fallible ...
 I don't know, I don't know anything anymore!
 I don't want, I don't want anything anymore!
 I'm not making anymore
 on the corners of life
 I rob myself
 from the truth
 I don't want to break!
 I drive careful
 Don't let them think it's so easy to get rid of me!
 I pray 
 I think I will reach my destination
 whenever I'm ready
 And my word is this clade
 ... an owl will know about ot
 23:21 22.05.03

Love hurts

 You are so far away, I feel you so close 
 hear your breathing and feel your warm lips
 when I close my eyes You approach
 you come ... you're cuddling me
 I want to touch you
 ...but
 I pull out my hand and you're gone
 I would like you to be with me
 I would like to have you
 I love you so much...
 I don't know why
 But I love!
 I don't want to love you!
 But I can't stop ...
 If you answered with only a word to what I say ...
 If you tried to help, at least once!
 If you'd try to disappear from my thoughts
 Enough!!!
 I will never mention you again
 I will never again say your name
 And I will never think of you again
 ... but I will never forget about you either...
 10:40 22/05/03

Elsewhere

 I want to run away
 Wash my dreams
 Start from the beginning
 Somewhere where the sun hides
 As far as possible
 In some warm corner
 Where I will be calm
 Where I will not be threatened by war
 In my soul
 Where I can forget my misery?
 23:08 19.05.03

Space’s spinning

 Flies, a tear flies
 It flows ... molten iceberg
 Blood is pouring
 I'm swaying
 The body is cut
 Closed in itself
 Unstable soul
 I doesn't want to be fallible
 And I?
 Sometimes I regret
 And I spit on everything
 I'm regret I was right
 And sometimes I wish someone pressed full stop
 So it'd be over
 With me, it won't more fight
 I have enough of that war
 I'd like to paint Easter eggs
 Not be afraid of tomorrow ...
 ... dream what furs I will have ...
 Ladies !!!
 ...why?
 21:44 21/05/03

Little rain

 Warm...
 The fragrant rain
 His tiny droplets
 Similar to the needle
 Floating on the cheeks
 Dripping on my hair
 Catching flies falling
 Such innocent, sweet
 Like small fishes
 He's like me
 Sometimes a little cool ..
 ... again, something on cheek passes
 The second of my life runaway
 The blood flies
 Hades is spinning
 And I can go
 And bite the ground
 Nothing keeps me here
 And I don't know how much more my soul can take
 I am above the earth
 My thoughts are boiling
 I will never regain consciousness
 I don't know if I'll ever feel a little joy
 I don't know what they say
 I am lost in it
 I lost the thread
 And I don't know where the beginning was
 22:25 20.05.2001

Lost

 I don't know anything anymore
 And I don't want anything anymore
 Only get far away
 Somewhere where birds are singing
 And the leaves from the trees gently fall
 Because I lost my orientation already
 In my thoughts I'm lost
 I don't know what's good? What a bad
 And everything I see is insipid
 I've got my dreams taken away
 My desires got stolen
 I was left with nothing
 Hm ... everything, wanted something
 Now nobody, nothing
 Just me
 ... I want to runaway
 And I don't know anything
 I don't want to know anything anymore ...
 23:22 19.05.2003

Rebel

 I don't care about anything anymore
 Nothing ever goes right
 I'm tired from it
 On the inside so much suffering
 I'm sick of it
 I'm tired of this mood
 I'm mad at myself
 That I did not match the background
 And now it came out stupid
 I look at what has come to me
 I don't know what it is
 It's wearing gold
 I will remain in reverie
 Stand on the gate
 I'll wonder
 I'll answer later
 23:00 19.05.03

I want to be free

 War is taking place all over me
 I'm not at all calm
 Lovers are begging
 By all forgotten
 I want forget everything
 Free myself from this
 From everything that's in me
 Here no crying will help
 I love the running rain
 I'm mindless, I know
 And all the memories I grind
 I don't want to remember anything anymore
 I don't want to look back
 I would like a one moment
 With my pour soul
 Live free as a bird
 Or cancer in the desert
 15:07 May 18, 2003